Rude Ruby
by ManaTexture
Summary: Ruby absolutely loses it. (Cover Art image by CSLucaris)
1. Unlimited Booze

**Rude Ruby**

* * *

...

* * *

Something felt off about Ruby.

Blake took note of that pretty quickly as soon as she chugged down her fifth bottle of alcohol. No, it did not start off as an uneventful day. She literally woke up to the smell of beer and cigarette smoke, much to her annoyance. Said annoyance turned into curiosity, and then utter shock when she realized where it came from.

"God FUCKING DAMMIT!" Ruby screeched, throwing it down against her bunk bed as she thrashed at her hair. "If we have seemingly unlimited ammo, how the hell do we not have unlimited booze?!"

Right. She totally had a point. Yep.

"Yep, you have a point," Blake echoed her mind, doing her best not to slap Ruby silly. As to why she didn't, well...

In the corner of Team RWBY's dorm, Yang stared at the wall without a word. If one were to stare into her eyes, he or she would be greeted with the sight of pure shell shock itself.

She... didn't take it well when Ruby insulted her "holes" and "honkers" like a raging drunkard, evidently. Heck, she could barely comprehend the fact that Ruby even said a single swear word.

"FUCK."

More than a single swear word.

And things had been so peaceful, too- no wait, she literally woke up to this shit.

Sighing, Blake muttered as she asked Weiss, who stared at Ruby incredulously, "Does literally anyone have an idea as to what happened to our team leader?"

No one answered.

Raising her head, Blake took a deep breath. It was already bad enough she slept earlier than the others yesterday because Sun took her out to a surprisingly decent Sunday amusement park tour. And just the other day, she thought the amusement park was actually haphazard.

_This?_ This was just outright hazardous.

_God, I'm sounding like Yang,_ she thought depressingly, turning to Yang, who ironically did not act like Yang. She looked back at Weiss, who seemed to have some kind of PTSD shit going on in her own way- just a little more composed than the way Yang was cradling her head pathetically at this point.

"Weiss," Blake spoke with a sharper tone, snapping her back to reality. "Explanation? Please?"

"Right, right," Weiss muttered as she shook her head, most likely out of confusion herself. Funny, how Blake now sympathized with the very girl she thought to be a self-entitled brat. She was still a brat, actually, but a good brat, if that was ever a thing.

"Ruby, uh... wanted to act like her uncle yesterday, actually," Weiss muttered. Now that Blake thought about it, neither she nor Weiss ever met the Uncle Qrow frequently mentioned in some of Ruby's happily shared stories. Now it was evident he may not have been the best of examples for the red-haired girl.

"And?"

"Well, it started off pretty innocently, at first," the Schnee admitted with a thoughtful look. "She drank soft drinks for the most part and acted all funny, and we all had a good time in the cafe."

As the snowy girl cringed, Blake had a feeling she knew what happened next. "Then she somehow got a hold of a bottle of beer and pretended to be like her uncle. It was prude, but not... rude."

"FUCK YOU, WEISS. FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUU."

Blake and Weiss stared at each other, though Weiss seemed almost done with Ruby's raging remarks.

Okay, now Blake began to feel legitimately bad for Weiss. She may have been bratty, but hot damn, was even she not _this_ bad at a regular basis.

"So she started acting like this now?" Blake asked.

It was then Yang finally burst out of the corner, getting on her knees as she slid to Blake and Weiss with teary eyes. Taking a hold of Blake's hands, Yang barely explained, "My baby Ruby would never do this oh my god she's drinking even more than Uncle Qrow Blake what should I do and where did I go wrong was it because I joked about Santa being real and jebaiting her about it last Christmas?!"

"Yang."

Softly putting a hand on the blonde's shoulder, Blake kindly smiled as she whispered, "You're not fucking helping."

"SHUT THE **FUCK** UP, YOU BLONDE CONDOM!"

**"WAAHHHHHHHHHH!"**

Yang finally snapped as she charged towards the window, slammed them open, slowly got out through the window, and gently closed them before jumping off the building. While both Weiss and Blake doubted Yang could get physically hurt more than she had emotionally and mentally, Weiss rolled her eyes as she mumbled something under her breath, walking right out of the building to pick the blonde up.

When Blake told Ruby to be a little more realistic about things, she didn't expect her own advice to come flying straight against her face at Mach 13.

The dear leader of RWBY somehow found another bottle as she drank yet again, chugging almost half the bottle down in one go. She didn't even seem phased by all the alcohol she consumed within the several minutes Blake had been awake in. How she even brought the bottles in without getting caught, nobody had any idea.

Shaking her own head out of the sheer idiocy she felt crawling up her skin from the situation, Blake walked over as she climbed the ladder up to Ruby's bunk bed. Ruby remained lying down on her back, not bothering to get up as she drank.

And they called _her_ crazy. Blake shuddered at the very thought, staring at Ruby like she was some kind of specimen.

"Ruby, is anything wrong?" Blake managed to ask. It did concern her quite a bit, admittedly, considering it was Ruby who usually dealt with their team's antics. She just didn't expect Ruby's own antics to actually feel like the world could end at any second.

"Nothing but everything, bitch," Ruby grumbled, staring at the ceiling of the dormitory.

"Well, you taught me to talk with others about my problems," the Faunus continued. "If there's anything you want to talk about, I'm all ears."

"Did your ears not catch my message of 'Fuck off' or something?"

Blake smiled, her grip on the ladder almost shattering the damn thing. Wow, it seemed like Ruby was really out of it! Maybe it was time to teach her a verbal lesson of-

"Wow, that's so boring," Ruby suddenly commented.

Blake blinked, confused. "What's so boring?"

"The thing you were going to tell me."

...

...

...

"**Ahem**," Blake coughed meaningfully.

"Don't cough on me, you faggot."

"**Ruby.**"

"Boldened text doesn't make you special, Black."

"**Ruby.**"

"So does underlines-"

"ENOUGH!"

Blake punched Ruby's mattress furiously, though all that came out was a disheartening "thump." Gritting her teeth, she glared at Ruby, who simply looked the other way and crossed her arms.

_...No, I shouldn't be getting mad,_ Blake thought, sighing. _I shouldn't-_

"Can you go back to reading your gay shit again?"

Cat ears perked up as Blake's eyes widened. Looking up to stare at Ruby, she found the girl drinking out of her sixth bottle, letting out an unsatisfying groan after she pulled her lips away from it.

"You're weighing down my bunk bed with your fat ass."

"It's **BLAKE YOU SUNUVA FUCKING DEAD BITCH**-"


	2. Iced Queer

**Rude Ruby**

* * *

...

* * *

Blake received a two-hour detention for calling her weapon locker into the balcony.

Weiss pretended to listen to Dr. Oobleck, ignoring the fact that she was the only one from her team to attend the class at the moment. Studying the material after the class would be a cinch- for now, she used the class as a means to remind herself that not everything ended in unnecessary and childish violence.

Still, the class was pretty boring. It didn't help her mood at all, but at least it gave her some breathing room-

"This class is like the time my uncle tried to anally rape a wasp back at Patch."

...

_...Oh, right, this dolt is here,_ Weiss thought in annoyance.

She refused. She absolutely refused to acknowledge Ruby's behavior as acceptable, and decided to ignore her for the time being. Annoying as she could be, the Ruby she knew was a bright and happy individual who cared for others far too much for her own good. Yes, she was willing to put up with the girl for a little longer, but...

The students around Ruby cringed at the smell of alcohol reeking out of her.

_On a second thought, she is in dire need of immediate assistance._

For, at the very least, the reputation of her team, Weiss decided that she would put Ruby's behavior to a test after class.

"Five bucks says Oohblegh's dick being smaller than Jaune's chances with women is the reason why he talks so fast."

Blinking, Weiss could not help but wonder just how small that would be. She cringed not only at the very thought, but also just _how_ small Ruby had been talking about. She also wondered just how the hell Oobleck didn't notice the filthy scent of alcohol reeking out of Ruby.

* * *

Lunch! Unbelievably, Weiss looked forward to this time. Usually, it would be her turn to complain about how the food could be improved while also complaining about how useless some of the people around her were. Today?

Exceptions could be made during dire times.

Yang remained missing, and Blake had come to sit down with the ugliest frown Weiss had ever seen in her life. It practically made up half of the Faunus' face, though pointing that out would probably get Blake all triggered again.

As she delicately sat down by Blake, Weiss dusted her skirt as she took a small breath.

Ruby practically slammed her tray with the might of the founders of Remnant as she sighed. Some of the students jumped at the noise, though some ended up contributing their own heavy sigh.

Negativity just grew rampant like Grimm in the water.

"Where on Remnant has Yang run off to?" Weiss asked, utterly baffled that she'd be missing for so long. Brash and carefree as she may be, she never decided to not attend in this many activities in a row before.

"Probably bawling her fucking brains out," Ruby grumbled, slamming her butt against her chair before she winced. "Fuck, who the hell left a fork here?"

Weiss blinked, wondering if she should ask Ruby if she were okay.

"That was close. Only a few inches away from losing my anal virginity."

On a second thought, the Schnee decided to get straight to the point. She wondered if Blake would do anything, but all she did was stare at Ruby like she were some kind of godforsaken alien.

"Alright, Ruby," Weiss began, crossing her arms with her food untouched. "It's time we have a serious talk."

"PFFFFT."

A single eyebrow rose as Weiss frowned at Ruby. The red-haired girl whistled, though Weiss swore she heard Ruby slip in an insult at her family somehow.

"This has gone off long enough," Weiss stated matter-of-factly. "Not only has a **full** day gone by with you behaving so childishly, but you also caused some massive collateral damage."

"Me?" Ruby rolled her eyes as she muttered, "Great, now **I'm** the one calling in weapon lockers in broad daylight, huh?"

"That's not it, Ruby!" Weiss growled, almost snarling in the process. "You've been provoking almost every single person you bumped into today! As little interest as I have in him, you had absolutely no right to talk down at Arc like you have."

Ruby stared at Weiss incredulously. "The fuck? I don't remember that happening, Iced Queer."

Ignoring her obvious insult, Weiss sighed, shaking her head. Okay, maybe she made it evident that she couldn't ignore it...

* * *

_"Hey, what's up, Ruby?"_

_"Huh?"_

_Stopping in the hallway, Ruby glared at some blond wimp smiling at her direction. His smile faltered as he approached her as it turned into a look of concern._

_"You alright? You don't look that good."_

_"If I don't look good then I'm probably not alright, dumbass."_

_Jaune chuckled nervously, his eyes looking away from her as he tried to come up with something to say._

_"Hey, Jaune?"_

_"Hm? What's up?"_

_Smiling deviously, Ruby asked him,_

_"Got any money on you?"_

* * *

"And how does THAT make me talking down on him, huh?" Ruby scoffed as she took out a small water bottle, though the color of the liquid indicated towards something clearly not healthy.

Noticing Weiss' glare at the bottle, Ruby lazily explained, "It's iced tea. Quit staring, you're being fucking gay."

"Ruby," Weiss spoke flatly. "You literally beat him up with your fists, took the Lien out of his wallet while he wasn't looking, and told him it was a 'surprise sparring match.' That is extremely and wholly unacceptable."

"Okay, okay, sheesh," Ruby grumbled. "That's all I did, though. No need to be so pissy about it."

Keeping her arms crossed, Weiss almost slammed her face against the table. "Do I have to remind you about every single thing you did? You also said you'd _rape him in his sleep,_ Ruby. Not only is that illegal, but _you_ are literally illegal, AND you just had to say that while **Pyrrah** of all people was walking by! Do you know how horrified she was at your seemingly 'innocuous' words, hm?! She was in tears!"

"Okay, but Wise-"

"Weiss, you dolt."

"Yeah, whatever. Mice, what if he's after my pants?"

Scoffing, the heiress looked at Ruby as if she just stated something stupid. Because quite frankly, it was.

"Why?" She found herself mustering up, completely unable to ask anything else.

"He might like them young, you know."

"..."

When Weiss continued glaring at Ruby, the rude rose genuinely asked, "Okay, but seriously, who the fuck would want to slam their fat asses against his noodle dick aside from Sparta? Name one other person who would, Iced Queer."

Her flat expression remaining still, Weiss pointed out, "You did just say you wanted to rape him."

"...Oh."

"And that's not funny at all, you dolt."

"I bet your family not being dysfunctional is funnier."

Rolling her eyes at the bluntness of Ruby's pessimism, Weiss crossed her arms yet again. Admittedly, that did sound extremely out of the world for her, but that would do nothing to change the dolt-gone-brat in front of her. She wanted to cross her arms harder- so hard to make Ruby just cringe and cower before her- but she could only go so far with two arms.

Puffing out her chest with some confidence, Weiss pointed out, "As your teammate and partner, I find your actions unacceptable, Ruby. I demand you to reflect on your actions, or at least quit the drinking. When I said you were illegal, I _also_ referred to this little drinking habit you got into."

"Geez, now you sound like my mom. And she's fucking dead, mind you."

Ruby chugged down another gulp from her "water bottle." It reeked of a scent that made Blake vibrate angrily like a steaming tea kettle lid.

"Ruby? This has gone on long enough, already."

"Fuck off, washboard."

An eye twitched.

As Ruby continued drinking, an unreadable expression entered Weiss' face as she seethed.

"What did you just-"

"Washboard. Weissboard, I don't know."

Taking a deep breath, Weiss pressed her fingers against her chest, withstanding the temptation to strangle the little shit right in front of her. She had an image to uphold, so she would play the patient role for now-

"Poking your tits won't make them bigger than mine."

"You insolent **BITCH.**"

As Weiss leapt over the table screaming about how she was still a growing woman, Blake continued to frown her face off, her eyebrows furrowing further than trenches in a war zone. She absolutely refused to read any more books for the week.

The idea of Adam killing literally everyone in the room- herself included- suddenly didn't sound like the worst thing ever.

* * *

Adam wanted to fucking kill Blake.

_Fuck,_ he seethed as he slammed a fist against a table in a dark room, sitting in front of a computer. _Of course she finds and deletes my treasure before she bailed on me._

That was it. This was his breaking point.

No sane man or woman ever messed with his dog Faunus porn collection. Who the _fuck_ on Remnant would want to deny a man of puppy eyes? Even after he reveals a _secret_ to Blake, she fucking runs from him because he liked a bit of dog Faunus action _and_ deletes the fucking thing at the same time.

Did she even know how hard it was to get porn as an international terrorist without getting anyone else to know?

He was going to fucking cut a certain cat's head off if he ever saw her. In the name of the White Fang, of course. And he'd see to the very end of it, even if it meant ruining his own fucking reputation, image, and personality to succeed.


	3. Lightning Iced Tea

**Rude Ruby**

* * *

...

* * *

A flurry of violent red tore through the air, mercilessly attacking Cardin from every direction.

Despite being built like a tank, even tanks had limits to their durability. Swinging wildly with his mace only got him damaged more, and any opening he didn't even mean to make was punished by a scythe attack. Whenever he tried to back off, he got assaulted ruthlessly by sniper rounds, and when he approached, the exact same punishments were always dealt to him.

It was an extremely odd matchup in Combat Class, but also turned out to be incredibly one-sided for some reason.

"Darn!" Cardin growled as he swung his mace, causing Ruby to back off with an unamused frown. "How about you stop zipping around like a brat and fight!"

Ruby refused to listen to both of his requests. Zipping straight up, she leapt, grabbing the back of his head, as she pulled it straight down against her knee. The entire world spun as he felt his eyes roll, though Ruby showed him no mercy and knocked him down to the ground with an overhead punch.

And she punched. And again, and again, every single punch landing against his face. Straddling on his battered armor to render him unable to move, she swung each punch harder than the last.

"W-Wait, I forf- UGH!"

"Haaah?" Ruby grinned as she punched his jaw especially hard. "Speak up, you fucking doofus."

"I for- UGH! I- ARGH! S-Stop! Ple- UGH!"

"I'll start punching your dick if you don't say it correctly, asswipe! What did you say, huh?!"

Laughing as he whimpered and cried, Ruby knocked the aura out of Cardin as she quickly landed in another punch, finally feeling his bones properly colliding against her knuckles. It only stopped when Glynda shouted.

"Enough! Mr. Winchester's aura is down. The fight is over."

Her eyes losing their excitement, Ruby rolled her eyes as she got off Cardin, stepping harshly on his crotch as she walked away. He choked, curling into a fetal position as he lay still on the arena.

"I couldn't even feel his balls, let alone a dick," Ruby mumbled as she left the arena. "Is he actually a girl, or...?"

* * *

Nora Valkyrie believed something weird was happening in Team RWBY.

So, so weird! Just the other day, they seemed so busy being happy and partying together in a weekend. Just what could've happened to make them the center of attention in a negative light?

Seriously, her tolerance for weird stuff? Totally high, if anyone asked her. But in the words of her own mind, in which she just made up within the past few seconds, "wew, lad." Super weird rumors of RWBY spread in the cafeteria, most of them happening to center around a certain red rose.

She couldn't believe it. Some of the rumors said she tried to molest her own team leader, Jaune, while others claimed she chainsmoked in her own dormitory. Such lies!

...Ruby did seem to be acting odd, though, that's for sure.

"Aaaaand that's why I'm here!" Nora exclaimed, sitting next to Blake.

In fact, Blake was the only person from Team RWBY to be present in the cafeteria. Weiss had to serve detention time for both trying to strangle Ruby in the cafeteria while simultaneously threatening to throw Ruby off the peak of Mountain Glenn the other day. The Schnee heiress insisted that Ruby kept taunting her to do it because "it was kinky." Yang, on the other hand, had yet to show up for yet another day. She only showed up in class now, though much to Nora's amazement, the poofiness of the golden dragon's hair seemed to have deflated...

But that was nothing in the face of Nora Valkyrie! They should totally feel honored that she decided not to bring Ren's pancakes with her- they'd be totally jealous.

Blake stared long and hard at Nora. While the Valkyrie smiled back, said smile almost wavered when she realized the dark-haired girl refused to do anything else.

"...Remnant to Blakey?" Nora chimed.

Her ribbon moving with her head as it shook, Blake sighed. "Nora," she began, finally speaking up to the excited girl, "I know how you feel, and I actually appreciate your thoughts. But... this isn't a problem you should solve."

"Pffffft, what gives?"

Slamming the table, Blake pulled Nora's collar as she almost rammed her forehead against the orange-haired girl's. Amber eyes trembled as they peered into startled blue ones, Blake's scowl far more menacing than anyone could expect her to make.

"Don't. Pft. At me."

"..."

Silence satisfied Blake Belladonna as she pulled away, resting her head on her arms as she leaned against the table.

"...Seriously, Blake, what's going on?" Nora couldn't help but ask, her tone gaining a bit of an edge to it. Cheerful she might be, she wasn't outright stupid to notice just how paranoid Blake seemed at the moment.

"Ah," Blake mumbled, pointing weakly behind Nora. "Here she comes."

_Who?_

A quick turn answered her question as Nora smiled widely. Her smile, however, quickly turned into a look of confusion. The look only intensified as she watched Ruby approach closer and closer.

"Out of the fucking way or I'll run you over," she growled, pushing aside a poor brown-haired man.

Dark circles under her eyes, a frown that made Cardin Winchester of all people to cower before her...

And not to mention, was that iced tea in her water bottle? Ruby would never do that!

"H-Hey, Ruby!" Nora exclaimed, waving at the girl as she sat across the two. "Renny said he had to go talk some things out with Pyrrah. Not sure why but everyone's been acting all-"

**BAM!**

Nora did not jump at the sudden noise, though she did end up pausing. Staring at Ruby, she watched the red rose wilt and sigh in the heaviest way possible.

"Jesus Christ on a glorified stick," Ruby muttered angrily, "I think I put my fucking weapon in the wrong locker. If anyone takes it I'm going to pull out their intestines straight out of their asshole and hang it like it came out of a Black Friday sale."

"..."

Nora stared at Ruby with wide eyes, glancing between her and Blake incredulously.

"Trust me," the cat Faunus whispered. "That _thing_ isn't Ruby."

Well... She looked like Ruby, yeah, and she probably was. Maybe just not a side of Ruby Nora had met before?

Either way, she could tell why RWBY was having such a harsh time. When their young, optimistic leader ended up transforming into whatever she was at the moment, it wasn't hard to imagine how quickly everything could fall apart.

"Maybe you could go back and put it in the right locker?" Nora suggested with a small smile.

Glaring up from the table, Ruby growled, "Are you actually telling me to put effort right now?"

"Well, why not?"

Ruby let out a groan as she shook her head. "Fucking titty monster weeb baits," she grumbled to herself as she looked away from Nora.

"Hey, Ruby, nice fight, by the way!" Nora perked up, though she held an uncertain tone despite her efforts. "You kinda really did go out to break a leg, yeah?"

"That shit was so one-sided you might as well call it a Civil RIghts movement."

Nora blinked, retaining her smile as best as she could as she wondered what else she could say to cheer up Ruby.

Soon, the orange-haired girl smiled and nodded as she tried playing along. "Well, I guess you could call it a miracle! Miracles don't happen without effort, usually. Renny knows that more than anyone!"

Ruby fell quiet at that as a thoughtful look entered her uncharacteristically negative face. She nodded to herself, as if agreeing with Nora on the statement.

"Yeah, I get what you mean."

"Wowie, you do?!"

"Because it'd be a fucking miracle if your parents were alive."

Shortly after, Nora joined Weiss in detention for calling her weapon locker through the cafeteria roof.


	4. Pyrrhic in All Ways

**Rude Ruby**

* * *

...

* * *

Pyrrha Nikos didn't mind attention.

Really, a lot of people misunderstood her! She enjoyed attention, especially when her friends paid that to her. The feeling of being remembered as a good friend alone tingled her heart warmly. While she accepted her life as a popular Huntress rather well despite her shyness, she still preferred the feeling of personal satisfaction while spending time with friends. From that sense, almost being a celebrity Huntress sounded like a bad thing for someone like her without context.

She loved her friends dearly and faithfully. Even loyally, to some extent.

So when Ruby kept abusing her figure of romantic interest, Pyrrha had no idea on what to do.

"The Beacon Dance- go out with me," Ruby spoke in a monotone voice, looking angry just from the very fact she spoke with Jaune.

"Why?!" Jaune whined.

"DO I LOOK LIKE I WANNA GO ALONE? Fucking **BITCH.**"

"Can you least get off me, please?!"

Ruby quickly took note of how her heel grinded against Jaune's head. Wow, she hadn't even noticed she knocked him over in the first place. Her foot must've felt magnetized to blond, scraggly boys. Sitting at JNPR's dormitory made her feel weird, and she started to forget the reason why she came. Damn blonds.

"Nope."

"RUBY- OW!"

"Shut up, Juan."

"It's Jaune- ARGHHHHHHHH!"

"**DOES THIS BLONDE SELF-INSERT EVER SHUT THE FUCK UP-****!**"

"Ruby," Pyrrha sighed, pushing back any inner demons that could burst out of her at the moment as she dragged Jaune away from Ruby. "Please, I don't think Jaune meant anything bad when he asked you why you picked him."

Thankfully, Ruby seemed far too lazy to actually get up from the bed she borrowed without any permission at all. Instead, she muttered something inaudibly.

Pyrrha heard quite a handful of things about the leader of RWBY. A bright girl even she couldn't help but find to be one of the most uplifting souls in Beacon, let alone Remnant- or at least, that's what she knew at first. She had absolutely no idea Ruby would be the type to enjoy asserting dominance and laughing louder than a pro wrestler whenever people showed any kind of weakness to her.

Frankly, it scared her, but she still had hope for the girl.

Instead of asking her if she was alright, Pyrrha decided to prod her about something else that concerned her. "So, Ruby..."

"Fuck you want?"

What did she want? She knew what to ask- but asking was the hard part.

Taking a short breath, Pyrrha asked the girl, "Is there any reason you want to ask Jaune out to the dance?"

A thoughtful look entered Ruby's face as she did her best to think hard without stressing her brain out. In other words, she barely gave it a legitimate thought and instead wondered what to drink in the next few hours.

"96%."

"...Huh?"

"...What? Oh, it's none of your business," Ruby grumbled eventually, snapping back to reality. "It's not like I want to straddle and fuck him up for babies while nobody's looking during the dance, if that's what you're worried about."

"O-Okay."

Oddly specific, but it seemed that Ruby just didn't want to go alone to the dance. While that in itself surprisingly felt very "Ruby," the rest of her mannerisms didn't.

"Say, have you ever met some guys before?" Ruby suddenly asked.

"Me?"

"Yeah, you. Who the fuck else? **Jaune?**"

Jaune raised a finger as he muttered, "I almost dated someone before I joined Beacon but I ended up failing something miserABLYYYYY OWOWOWOW-!"

"Nobody told you to talk, noodle dick."

Distracted from Ruby's rude treatment of Jaune, Pyrrha shook her head with a red face. "No, actually," she answered honestly, her voice softer than before, though her look steadily grew distant as she continued, "but I doubt anyone would ask me out in the first place."

Jaune almost gasped at the thought, laughing despite having his head locked against the ground of JNPR's dorm. "Why- no, how, Pyrrha?"

Ruby grumbled as she rubbed her head, as if she were wondering if she'd ever become sober. "Maybe she likes her boys scattered- like ashes."

"...?"

"...?"

"...Forget I said anything, you dense idiots."

"But you just-"

"Jaune, you're teetering close to becoming a 'dense faggot' already."

"Yes, ma'am."

There weren't many things Pyrrha thought about the dance, actually. She only knew it was coming, but Ruby pushes at Jaune reminded her that, indeed, the dance was coming. The redhead glanced at Jaune's way, scratching her cheek lightly as she wondered what to say.

All the while Ruby stared at the famed Huntress, almost bored out of her mind.

_Pyrrha, do you want to bone Jaune?_ Ruby thought. Normally, she'd blurt it out immediately, but Weiss' words reminding the rude rose of her reaction at Jaune being harassed earlier in the hallway must've taken some effect on her.

Or, it could be that taking a break from drinking actually did something to make her act less like a drunken retard.

Not that it made her feel any less retarded in reality.

"Eh, I'm leaving, have fun or some shit," Ruby grumbled. "I'm gonna go smuggle some booze in. Don't tell Yang, though- she and her big mouth could stuff dicks n' guns for all I care."

Pyrrha nodded silently as Jaune rubbed the back of his head, unable to concentrate on anything due to the pain of being stepped on. It didn't seem like Ruby was necessarily interested in Jaune in the way Pyrrha had thought earlier. While she kept her emotion from being expressed through her face, it didn't stop her from feeling greatly relieved.

As Ruby left the room, however, the rude rose paused before turning to the redhead.

"Oh, right, Pyrrha."

"Yes, Ruby?"

"If you're not taking Jaune out to the dance, I'm going to have Jaune fuck Weiss up in more ways than one for the dance. Since he, you know, wants to do that."

...

...

...

"Bye."

As Ruby closed the door, Pyrrha wondered if the dormitory still had that kitchen knife Ren bought several weeks ago.

The Beacon Dance approached quickly.


	5. Blue Balls

**Rude Ruby**

* * *

...

* * *

Ah, the Beacon Dance.

What a lovely night. Neptune always enjoyed these social gigs. Not only were there hot chicks, but the whole party-like atmosphere always did wonders for his mood. "Big mood," as he liked to call it. Whatever weary or trivial thoughts could have plagued him were instead replaced with the enjoyment of the dance. He wasn't even a student here, but it all clicked for him pretty quickly.

Except for that one girl drinking what looked like grape juice in the corner in the most depressing way possible. Wasn't her name Ruby Rose?

Raising an eyebrow, Neptune glanced around from his seat against the wall. And no, he wasn't sitting there because he couldn't dance- he just felt the heavy need to relax, that's all.

...

...Okay, he sucked at dancing. He even told Jaune about it, which led to him talking with Weiss. It was... pretty nice, actually. He didn't think talking with the snowy angel could turn out being pretty natural. They talked about a handful of things like what their lives were like, what they wished to not show up often- and boy, did she have plenty of things she didn't like, contrary to what she seemed like at first. It was probably the most casual fun he had in a while, and that was totally cool.

He had to give it to Jaune- the guy really knew more about being natural with people.

Then there was the dark-haired girl drinking endlessly.

_She sure looks depressed, though_ he watched the girl curiously as he pondered as to why she could end up like that. Seriously, he wasn't the type to think heavily like a philosopher or anything, but even he could tell her very presence emitted an odd aura. This wasn't Aura, oh no- this was a **lethal aura**.

She didn't look his type, but since he didn't have much to do, he got up and headed over to her. Who knew just why Ruby chucked herself in a corner in such a lonely way? From what he'd seen of her, she didn't seem like one to do that.

Standing in front of her, Neptune put a hand against his hip as he grinned. "Mind if I sit here?" He asked.

The girl practically chugged the bottle she held, though she paused when he spoke to her as she cracked an eye open at his direction. When she proceeded to keep drinking, Neptune shrugged and took the opportunity to sit.

"Tough times?"

Slamming the bottle against her lap, Ruby took a deep breath and let out the most energy-sapping sigh he'd ever witnessed.

"Toughest," she growled, not looking at his direction.

Okay. He had to admit, he didn't think that would be the answer. Still, at least she wasn't swearing like a sailor-

"FUCKING HELL!"

Whoops.

Lifting a stained part of her dress with no shame, Ruby shouted, "It's like this fucking **bottle** is bitching to me now, holy shit."

Evidently, drinking from a bottle so brutishly and not expecting some of it to spill on you was kind of like a letter of challenge to fate.

"If it helps to make you feel any better," Neptune pointed out, "your dress is red."

"Yeah, but it looks like I pissed out fucking babies or something."

Putting up a thoughtful look, Neptune wondered what to say before shrugging in agreement.

"Been busy?" He asked Ruby. "Weiss told me you're, uh... pretty stressed lately."

Another drink had Ruby silent for a minute. When she let the bottle hang between her fingers to the side, she grumbled, "_Stressed,_ huh? Yeah, it's so like her to sugarcoat her own words. She called me a fucking bitch, Nep Nep."

As her words grew louder and louder, Neptune winced more and more. "Quite frankly," Ruby continued, "she should look at a fucking mirror. Go on and let her ask _'Mirror, mirror, who's the one having the worst menstruation of all?'_ I swear, the spoiled shit is just getting worse and worse and worse and WORSE like it's Groundhog Day with a dose of shittiness attached to it! Worst of all is that she looked _"guilty"_ after trying to shank me when I had to put up with her shit since the **very fucking second I met her**."

She clutched her hair with her free hand as she swung her head up in pure fury.

"That fucking **bitch** should go back to the icy shithole and go **FUCK HERSELF!**"

Kicking the ground without giving herself room to breathe, she ignored the frightened expressions of some of the students who could hear her past the music.

Meanwhile, Neptune simply stared at her, eyes wide and blinking ever-so-carefully.

A moment of silence fell between the two as the party continued. Love and fun was in the air, none of it from the grumpy reaper in the corner. The only thing coming from her was the faint scent of alcohol lingering around her.

Long as it felt, only a few seconds passed.

"She's probably sorry."

Glaring at Neptune, Ruby growled menacingly, "Don't make me make _you_ feel sorry."

Turning directly to him, she leaned over as she slammed her forehead against his, her eyes wide and deranged as she seethed,

"It doesn't fucking help that I beat the shit out of some bitch in spandex in the CTT earlier AND had to convince some Atlesian general cunt to arrest her instead of me. I'm literally a drink away from trashing this shithole down-"

"W-Whoa, relax," Neptune quickly jumped before she could go any further. When Ruby at least complied partially, he continued, "I'm just saying, we're not always the way people think we are, right?"

A long, hard glare from her almost made him reconsider his own words. Fortunately, she seemed to relax at his words and instead let out a long sigh.

Crisis averted. Literally, if what any of she said was true.

"Hey, Neptune."

"Yeah?"

"What's your type of chick?"

Now _that_ was one heck of a curveball, and a curveball he felt inclined to catch as gloriously as possible. A wide, dumb grin spread across his face as he let out a loud noise of intellectual cherry-picking.

"Heavy top," he began, pretending to hold two coconuts.

Ruby raised a curious eyebrow. "Oh?"

Turning to her, Neptune spread his arms out as he added, "Long, blonde hair."

She seemed genuinely amused at that. "And?"

Smacking the side of his hips, he added with a wink, "Love-bearing hips."

...

...

...

"PFFFFFFFT."

Bursting out into a sudden fit of laughter, Ruby kicked her legs wildly as she practically threw the bottle down. If he didn't know any better, she almost looked drunk off her mind, but her response was at least different from her usual drawling.

Well, he hoped it was a good response, at least.

"What the fuck," Ruby wheezed as she snorted. "Look, I can try tossing Yang all over your fucking face! Yeah, like a date or some shit. You can go fuck off with that."

Whoa!

"You serious?" Neptune asked incredulously.

"Yeah," Ruby nodded. _Because that means I won't have to deal with her fucking shit for a bit longer._

Not that he'd understand, though.

As she sighed briefly, she shook her head as she mumbled, hiding her mouth with her hand, "You're so fucking simple it hurts. It's amazing how you're lacking in so many dimensions."

"Hey, now! I got one dimension, and it's _cool._"

...

Neptune winked.

"Go fuck yourself, Neptune."

"Well, at least that won't hurt because that's not simple."

Ruby groaned as she looked away, her eyes scanning for a nearby bottle she dropped to smash the guy's head against.

"Hey, your face is all red like your name! Not my fault, nope."

"I can't imagine what the fuck would happen if you and Yang had kids."

* * *

"The fuck you mean 'Cinder is in the hospital'?"

"It's as her two henchmen reported, sir," the White Fang spy spoke, remaining in a straight posture. "Cinder was somehow spotted and defeated at the CTT. It appeared someone beat her relentlessly with... fists."

"...Fists."

"Yessir."

Adam rolled his eyes. Well, there went the plan of fucking everyone over. Maybe that meant he was a little more free to act on his own accord.

Oh, right, there was the High Leader, but he doubted she'd listen to him over her own loud voice.

Standing next to Adam, his trusted lieutenant spoke up. "We have yet to start capturing Grimm for the invasion, sir. I believe it will be best if we hold off."

"...Go on, lieutenant."

"Frankly speaking, if Cinder is gone, so is the whole plan of invading the academy in the first place. Our goal was to damage the academy as much as possible and use the academy's downtime to bring more Faunus to the White Fang's cause. Also, if someone of Cinder's calibur could be defeated, then it's a definite risk to invade the academy."

Nodding, Adam turned to a map set on a display, showing Beacon's surroundings.

Still, he had some unfinished business to settle.

And he wanted to finish it fast...

"I have some business to attend to, but for the most part, we'll be holding off for now," Adam said conclusively. "We're going to relocate as well, just in case our location is compromised. Lieutenant, ensure that no Faunus is left behind in this camp."

"Yessir."

Oh, yes. His business was ballsy, and not just in a metaphorical way.

No matter what, he was going to have a long, long talk with Blake. And he wasn't going to be giving her any puppy eyes.

Actually, that sounded kind of hot, even if she was technically a cat. Maybe he'd forgive her.


	6. Torchedwick

**Rude Ruby**

* * *

...

* * *

It was supposed to be a simple trip to Mountain Glenn. Get the bombs prepare, ship them all down a tunnel and blow the hell out of it. That would let some Grimm to sneak into Vale and wreck havoc, but that wasn't his problem from then on. Nothing about the mission was hard at all.

Roman hadn't heard from Cinder for quite a bit, but a plan was a plan. With no news from her end, especially since he had been holed up in this dump for quite a bit, all he could do was keep working.

He had been minding his own business doing the usual- minding his own business. Seriously, that was all he did. What else was he supposed to do in a desolate underground tunnel devoid of any people? It didn't help that the animals around him weren't the most efficient of workers, but better them than him if they were here to lug around bombs unceremoniously.

Then he heard gunfire right outside one of the cargos he'd been inspecting. Rolling his eyes, Torchwick walked out with cane in hand, ready to blast whatever animal had screwed up.

It didn't take him long to realize that some of the White Fang thugs were knocked down, some of them mangled quite terribly. Raising a curious eyebrow, he stared at a rather familiar figure in a red cloak.

_Well, well, what do we have here?_

Fate seemed to make things far from simple for him.

As he walked forward, a smug smile washed over his once unamused face. "My, oh my," he repeated his thoughts. "What do we have here?"

The tip of his hat just barely revealed Ruby Rose glaring back at him. She looked absolutely terrible... though, for some reason, he had a feeling it wasn't because of the thugs she just brutally beat down with her weapon.

"Little red-"

**"TORCHWICK."**

The man in question jumped at her brash voice as she roared, **"THERE YOU ARE!"**

_..Huh?_

Oh, she looked absolutely livid, but not in a satisfying way. No, she looked absolutely _pissed_, and he was sure he quite literally did nothing to her after that one unfortunate meeting in Vale.

...Right, maybe he met her more than once at this point. But still.

Kicking the unconscious body of an unlucky White Fang soldier, she knocked it out of her way as she seethed, "I fucking knew it had to be you. Clockwork Orange-ass-looking **bitch!**"

"Whoa, whoa, now hold on a second!" Torchwick raised a hand as he backed away, keeping note of how she moved forward regardless. "I dunno what's keeping you so grizzly, but fighting right here's dangerous, don't you think? It could get, er... a little explosive, if you catch my drift."

"I was wondering where the fuck you were," Ruby growled, not listening to a single word he said to her. "Of all times, you had to interrupt my fucking nap with your goons being inconspicuously louder than a prostitute! And then **YOU** show up like you're Dr. Manhattan or some blue-balled bullshit!"

Okay. Now he was just confused.

"You're not right in the head, are you, Red?"

"Oh HELL I'm not right in the head! This was the one time I got to not deal with other people's shit and sleep in peace, and you had to go ruin everything. I think I'll feel better when your head is rolling on the ground!"

Roman silently cursed. He told the filthy animals to stay covert- what on Remnant were they doing right out in the open? Let alone trying to fight this... weirdo?

"Answer me this, Roman," Ruby seethed, clutching her scythe as Roman twitched in response. "How good are you fighting? Are you a pussy or do you actually have one? What's your broke-ass face gonna look like when you **DIE?!**"

Screeching incoherently, Ruby leapt forward, her eyes deranged with pure fury as she spun wildly, leaving a trail of roses scattering behind her. Roman's eyes widened as he moved just in time.

As he leaned away, he saw the cigarette in his mouth get sliced in half, tobacco and ashes scattering as it fell out of his mouth. Crashing into one of the containers in the tunnel, Ruby furiously turned back at him, her teeth gritting to the point of showing her gums a bit.

He took everything back about her. This girl was absolutely nuts and wanted him dead.

"Start the damn train!" Roman screamed as soon as he saw several White Fang soldiers emerge from the train, no doubt confused and frightened at the sight of an unfamiliar figure. "I don't care if it's not finished- do it, or we're all be finished!"

Much to his dismay, however, Ruby didn't know how to quit. And considering how pissed she was, he realized how slim his chances were at surviving if she genuinely intended on cutting him apart.

Before he could see her move, he felt her feet crash straight into his stomach as she knocked the wind out of him instantly. His body flew and crashed against a heavy crate, his body feeling like it could snap at any moment as his Aura instantly went red. He didn't even have the chance to fully prepare himself when he saw a blur fly past him.

Something suddenly strangled his throat as he heard the little girl scream incoherently. Her elbow pulled back against his throat, also bending his back as a result of her short height. The air in his lungs grew smaller and smaller as he saw the very world steadily grow black.

Oh Gods, was he going to die like this?!

Not like this!

_Not like... this...!_

"RUBY!"

Her grip loosened just a bit as he felt air rush into his lungs. The world spun around him as he saw four other figures, and some tiny black speck following them, as they stopped in front of both him and Ruby. They were the ones who busted his Paladin back at the streets.

"Oh my lord, this is just getting worse and worse!" The white-haired girl shouted. She definitely looked like a Schnee. "Ruby, let him go this instant!"

"Fuck you, Rice Queen!"

"Ruby, for crying out loud, is it that hard to just let go of him?!" The dark-haired girl jumped in as well. "His face is blue!"

"I'll make sure his balls are too!"

Before he could leave the world, however, a huge spark of Fire Dust blasted straight towards him. He felt the heat seer past his cheek... before it hit Ruby directly against her face. Letting go of Roman, the red rose stumbled before tripping, clutching her face out of annoyance more than anything.

"God fucking dammit, Yang!" She screeched. "I almost had him!"

"Grab her! Quick!" The blonde girl shouted.

He fell with both hands against the stone beneath him. Roman took deep breaths, barely able to control his breathing. She nearly killed him. Wow. He almost died.

As the Schnee and the blonde girl apprehended Ruby, the dark-haired one with the bow on her head approached him, almost touching him as if to comfort him. Her name was Blake. Funny, considering that she held him hostage by the docks in Vale quite a while ago. Irony had it that she would be the one to almost sympathize with him.

"W-What the hell was that...?" He whispered.

"It's a terrible and long story," the girl answered morosely.

"No, seriously, isn't she like... your damn team leader or something?! What the HELL was that?!"

Blake patted his back, shaking her head. No words could describe what he just experienced. He'd met psychopaths, and he'd met criminals- but never had he met someone solely dedicated towards trying to destroy him just to _feel better about missing out some sleep._

"Torchwick," Blake spoke in a comforting tone, "I recommend just going to jail. You won't have to meet her again there."

"..."

Just a few minutes ago, he would've laughed at the very statement. Roman looked up, watching the red girl try to headbutt the Schnee as if she were in a drunken rage. When she failed, she continued screaming as she tried to headbutt the blonde girl instead. And if he remembered correctly, those two were supposed to be sisters.

He could have Neo bail him out of prison if he wanted, but...

"Piss off! **REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!**"

...

_Yeah, fuck this._

"I give up."


	7. Ultra Hardening

**Rude Ruby**

* * *

"Come on, FuckShitUp, you can do this!"

Smashing her thumbs against the screen of her Scroll calculatively, Ruby paused for a bit, only to growl as she rolled her eyes. "Well, someone's not living up to their name," she grumbled, tossing the Scroll aside.

Whoever said Pocket Grimm had a decent meta was clearly out of their minds.

Also, why the fuck were people making games out of the very enemy of humanity? As soon as she started wondering what a fandom for such a game would be like, however, she paled and instead thought about strangling Cardin.

That sounded more interesting than... whatever the hell a fandom for Grimm would be.

None of team RWBY aside from Ruby was present in the dorm at the moment. Everything was just the way she wanted it to be. Yang wasn't around whining about her "baby girl" or whatever the hell she always talked about, Weiss wasn't being a disease, and Blake wasn't around to swing around her horniness. Blake's very presence terrified Ruby in a unique way- it was almost as if anyone who liked her wanted to fuck her.

She wanted to bet five Lien that she wasn't half-wrong.

As her eyes threatened to close and bring her to a dream full of lovely booze, however, she heard the door open ever so slightly. She groaned as she lazily brought herself up to see whoever had just entered the dorm-

Though, Ruby was fairly certain she didn't do anything to see an absolutely infuriated Nora. Not recently, at least.

"**RUBY. ROSE.**"

Ruby rolled her eyes, pure annoyance creeping into her tired face. "Have you _ever_ heard yourself talk before? It's as absurd as the White Fang having an interracial orgy with humans."

Leaping up to the bed, Nora gripped the collar of Ruby's uniform as she lifted her up over her own head. Roaring, the ginger-haired girl harshly threw the rose down against the center of the room.

Grabbing her collar again, Nora lifted Ruby as she screeched at her, "WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

Blinking with no amusement in her eyes, Ruby asked, "Come again?"

"What on Remnant have you done to Renny?!" Nora shouted, absolutely hellbent on making sure the question did not go ignored. "And it BETTER not be what I think you did!"

It was then Ruby remembered that Team RWBY wasn't the only dysfunctional team she had to worry about. There also happened to be the dreaded JNPR, led by Jaune Arc of all people in the whole damn academy of talented and (apparently) amazing students. Whenever she stopped worrying about her own team, JNPR always covered her back by throwing a fucking curveball at her barebones life story.

"You always throw a fucking curveball at my life story," Ruby growled, repeating her thoughts out loud as she hung her head to the side to instead stare at a wall. "But seriously though, what the fuck are you talking about?"

"Y-You don't-" Nora stuttered as she let go of the confused drunk midget. "Can't you at least _try_ remembering, Ruby?!"

"I'm so sorry, Nora," Ruby whispered sympathetically. "I literally can't give a shit."

Screaming in uncharacteristic rage, Nora stomped out of the room, almost shoving a terrified Jaune Arc aside-

"Oh, what the FUCK, Jaune!" Ruby roared, making him jump at her sheer anger. "How are you always fucking around my dorm?!"

Jaune raised a finger to follow up with a solid explanation, only to realize this was Ruby he spoke to. Putting up a thoughtful look, he pondered for a better answer before he nodded to himself.

"To be fair," he pointed out calmly, "our dorms are right next to each other. Also, my entire team has some kind of problem revolving around you. I came here to talk about that."

"..."

Staring at the noodle in front of her dorm, Ruby took a moment to make him uncomfortable by doing nothing. When he made it clear he wasn't going to leave, however, she sighed as she pointed at one of the bunk beds.

He nodded quickly as he sat on one of them.

"I wasn't asking you to SIT on it," she growled, "I was telling you to _tidy it up._ Ice Queer didn't even clean it up on her way out."

"Oh, uh. Okay?"

Getting up, Jaune tidied the bed and proceeded to sit on it. While Ruby seemed to have a problem with him just planting himself into the room on one of the beds, she stopped caring as quickly as she realized it would take more effort to get him out forcefully than on his own accord.

She couldn't tidy anything up for shit, anyway.

Sitting on Weiss' bed without fixing the blankets up, Ruby raised an eyebrow as she stared at Jaune with her arms crossed. "So what's everyone bitching about now?"

Jaune cleared his throat.

"Alright," he began nervously. "So, I honestly don't know why Pyrrha seems obsessed with watching you, but I can explain about Nora's behavior."

"Holy shit, you can _explain something about **Nora?**_ Jaune, you'd be making shittons of Lien if you became a criminal psychologist instead-"

"She's mad because you, uh... 'rode Ren,' apparently."

"..."

...

...

...

"I- what?"

Making it clear he wasn't making anything up, Jaune quickly added, "No, I'm not saying you actually went that far. It just..."

He sighed.

"Well, since you don't remember..."

* * *

_"Ren, why the hell are you still with Nora, anyway?"_

_"...What?"_

_Sitting at the cafeteria, Ruby scooted up next to Ren, who happened to be one of the few remaining members of the usual group consisted of RWBY and JNPR. Only Ruby, Jaune, Ren and Blake sat at the table, with Blake constantly glaring at Ruby as if she were some kind of monster that could explode at any minute._

_Technically, the Faunus wasn't wrong, but nobody dared to support her idea in front of said monster._

_"Is it the boobs?"_

_Ren almost choked on the pancake he was eating as he coughed violently. Looking up at Ruby incredulously, he blinked at her odd question. She stood adamantly by her question._

_"Do you want to ram them with your-"_

_"Ruby, no. She's my friend. That's all."_

_Raising an eyebrow, Ruby glared at Ren as she crossed her arms. "No offense, but she pounces the shit out of you all the time."_

_"I'm used to it," Ren responded flatly._

_Putting up a look as thoughtful as a drunk and deranged Ruby could come up with, the girl turned to Ren with a curious look._

_Suddenly, Ruby pounced the dark-haired boy. Jaune almost spit out his food as he immediately stood up. Blake's eyes widened, though for once, she didn't look absolutely pissed at Ruby._

_Instead, she looked somewhat curious, if her tiny blush indicated at anything._

_"What the-!" Jaune began before looking around fervently, noticing some of the heads turning their way. He ended up harshly whispering, "Ruby, what're you doing?!"_

_"Ruby! Why?!" Ren almost shouted with his cheeks heated up, aware of several pairs of eyes peering at what appeared to be an extremely suggestive position involving him and the leader of RWBY._

_Sitting still, Ruby leaned forward as she pressed a finger against his nose. "Fucking LIAR!" She growled triumphantly. "Now I know why you don't say shit about her pouncing you. It's cause you WANT more of that shit, huh?!"_

_Ren covered his face with his hands as he shook his head. Ruby's wild grin didn't help one bit. "I'm right, aren't I?! Holy shit, I knew it! No wonder you're so docile about her 'almost' straddling you to-"_

_"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK," screeched a familiar voice with a sentence extremely unbefitting of a Valkyrie._

_The entire cafeteria fell silent as everyone turned to an absolutely horrified Nora Valkyrie staring at a certain rose and her childhood friend. Jaune shrunk underneath the table_

_"...Shit, I think that's my cue to leave. Blake, hand over my beer- I mean, water bottle!"_

_It didn't take long before Nora's weapon locker tore through the roof of the cafeteria. Again._

* * *

"..."

"..."

...

...

...

"For the record," Ruby explained calmly, "I wasn't wrong in the end."

"Ruby, I'm pretty sure there was a better way of clarifying things to Nora than running out of the cafeteria as soon as you saw her."

"Shut. The Fuck. Up."

"Yes, ma'am."

A long sigh left Ruby. Well, that explained why the orange bitch looked so infuriated. Not only was she clingy, but she also didn't know how to chill the fuck out. Ruby could sympathize just a bit with the insane ginger, but only because she herself almost tore her hair out at the thought of her team withholding her from murdering Torchwick.

Why the fuck were all the orange-haired people she met so **annoying**?!

"It's like they actually don't have fucking souls or something," Ruby grumbled, rubbing her head as if a migraine threatened to overtake her at any moment. "Like Quarter. Or Nickle. Dime. Whatever the shit her name was."

"Ruby?"

Taking a deep breath, instead of answering Jaune, Ruby snatched a bottle of booze from the bunk bed above her as she took a quick swig out of it. Only when Jaune repeated himself for the third time did she finally mumble something.

"The fuck you want, Jaune?"

"I can't really say much, but..."

WIth a small, yet nervous smile, Jaune spoke, "If you need help with anything, just remember we can help you, alright?"

"Why the fuck would I need help from you?"

"...Good point, but that's not really my point."

"Do _you_ need **my** help, Jaune?"

"No, sir- ma'am."

The girl glared at Jaune for a moment before turning away, groaning as she looked for more booze in the room.

* * *

Meanwhile, Ren sat at his bed in JNPR's dormitory, staring blankly into a void. He couldn't believe it. It was all because of a little red **riding** hood that caused him to lose his focus. For the first time in a while, he had a question that could not be answered through simple logic.

_Why is my ding dong hard?_

A few seconds later, Nora suddenly burst into the dormitory as if she heard the sound of his ultra hardening pants.

She ended up smashing his crotch with Magnhild and had him wind up in the infirmary, though that did nothing to make him feel any better.


	8. The Deal

**Rude Ruby**

* * *

Weiss wanted to strangle Ruby.

It seemed like a common occurrence as of recent times. The brat just wouldn't chill the out and sleep rather than rave on like a deranged gremlin. Whenever Weiss proposed the idea of "shut the fuck up," Ruby didn't seem to understand why the "fuck" existed between "shut the" and "up."

"Get out of the way, you fucking cuck."

She really, really wanted to strangle Ruby.

As Cardin practically ran right out of Ruby's path, the red-hooded girl slammed her bottom against one of the many cafeteria seats. She took a deep breath, opening her bottle and inhaling the scent of alcohol before sighing pleasantly.

"We went over this, Ruby," Weiss growled, reminding Ruby of the deal they made earlier.

"Yeah, whatever."

For the first time ever in a while, the girl set aside her alcohol, closing the lid and grouchily eating her food.

The team's reputation had gone to places Weiss wouldn't have ever expected it to go. From being one of the brightest and most cooperative teams to a ruthless, straight-to-business one, team RWBY hadn't been the same. That was putting it lightly, considering Yang still underwent an existential crisis between trying to kick her half-sister's ass and trying to shake Ruby back to her senses.

Damage? Oh, Ruby did plenty of damage, in more ways than one. While the team did ironically become more coordinated, it was only because Ruby threatened to murder anything in their path during missions- Grimm or not. And quite frankly, Weiss wasn't going to idle about and watch their leader tear apart the team down. Unlike a certain ribbon-wearing Faunus who did the talk and not often the walk…

Admittedly, Blake had plenty of reason to be more aggravated at Ruby, but that didn't excuse her lack of action. As long as the little sh- dolt held onto the bottle, though, nothing would change.

So what more than a little diplomacy wouldn't do the trick? If Ruby wasn't intent on letting go of the bottles for free, there obviously had to be a bargain for the time being.

It was a very simple bargain- just one Weiss wasn't sure if it would work.

The two sat in silence, with Ruby quietly stuffing rice and meat in her face. She left all the vegetables on her tray, though no one reprimanded her.

Total silence remained between them.

A few minutes later, Blake joined the table. She eyed Ruby warily, though she glanced back at Weiss in a somewhat knowing expression. The Schnee heiress nodded, closing her eyes as she took a small bite of her food.

Then Yang came along, and she sat next to Blake. She remained quiet, glancing between Blake, Weiss, and Ruby before sticking three chunks of meat and devouring them all at once. Much to her own surprise, Weiss refused to say anything about her behavior.

_Huh,_ Yang thought. _I could get used to this._

Team RWBY remained silent.

As they continued to eat their lunch, Blake eventually waved at Yang. The blonde raised an eyebrow, food on her fork hovering by her mouth as she wondered just what the hell Blake wanted. She glanced down next to her, eyeing a water bottle filled with tea and what looked like some kind of barbeque sauce bottle.

Knowing the importance of flavor, she passed the sauce. Without turning around, Blake drank from the bottle-

**"...!"**

Puffing her cheeks, Blake's eyes widened to the point of almost bulging as she reached under her bow and clutched onto her ears for dear life. Heat emerged in her cheeks as she clenched her teeth, tears forming in her eyes. Yet, not a single sound came from the quiet Faunus. Truly, she knew how to be one with the shadows.

Weiss looked like she was about to explode, but she visibly relaxed when she realized the Faunus' efforts did not go in vain.

Yang blinked in confusion as she reached for the bottle Blake almost slammed against the table, eyeing it curiously.

_**Hot Sauce.**_

_Oh._

_Well, shit._

Glaring daggers at Yang's very soul, Blake refused to scream as she waved her hands furiously at Yang. The blonde quickly handed the water to Blake, who gladly drank from the bottle.

As Ruby took a lazy bite from her rice, she raised an eyebrow as she looked under the table, then around it. "Hey, where the hell did my bottle go?"

Blake's eyes widened as she slammed the bottle full of "tea" against the table, her fingers gripping the damned thing much harder than it normally would. Ruby turned back to Blake, who slowly slid the thing towards her.

"Huh. Thanks," Ruby grumbled as she snatched it away, sniffing from it before closing its lid again.

Absolute fury boiled in Blake as her bloodshot eyes turned to Yang, who had inched so much to the point of scooting over to the table next to them and bumping into Pyrrha. The redhead blinked in confusion as she stared at Yang curiously, though the blonde gave her an apologetic look that promised an explanation later.

After a few seconds of silence settled the RWBY table down again, Yang scooted back and ate as if nothing happened.

Unfortunately, Yang seemed to step on a landmine on her way, as Jaune asked out loud,

"What did Yang do that for?"

...

...

...

...

...

Suddenly, Ruby screamed victoriously as she snatched the bottle and chugged all of its contents down her throat.

"**FUCK YEAH, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! SUCKS TO BE YOU, BITCH! I WIN."**

"**GOD FUCKING DAMMIIIIIIIIIIIT!"** Weiss finally screamed, slamming her table so hard two cracks formed under her fists.

"**GET YOUR SORRY ASS BACK HERE, YANG!" **Blake screamed as she chased after Yang, who ran straight out of the cafeteria.

"**DAMMIT BLAKE, I SWEAR IT LOOKED LIKE A WATER BOTTLE- HONEST!"**

Unfortunately for Weiss, a deal was a deal. Ruby would continue to drink (for now) due to Weiss, Blake and Yang being unable to avoid having their any of their names mentioned at the cafeteria table for a single day.


	9. Wallpaper

**Rude Ruby**

* * *

_This fucking sucks._

Sitting in Team RWBY's dormitory room alone, Ruby smashed her fingers on her Scroll rapidly. For the first time ever in a few days, which felt like forever with her insufferable teammates, she had been left alone. That itself should've made her feel good, yet something felt terribly off.

That's right. The video game pissed her off to no end.

Growling, her eyes darted left and right as she grit her teeth, her fingers moving faster.

In the end, she screamed in anger as she slammed her Scroll against the bed she sat at.

"Why the **FUCK** can't I swim in toxic waste if I'm a fucking magical mermaid?!" She screeched. "Holy cunts in a burning village- I JUST WANT TO PLAY THE FUCKING GAME, **GOD DAMN IT YOU SHITLOAD OF FUCK! STOP COCKBLOCKING ME YOU BITCH-**"

The dormitory door opened as Jaune asked with a smile, "Hey, Ruby, Pyrrha asked me if you could give her back the-"

"**JAUNE GET THE FUCK OUT BEFORE I CHOP YOUR BALLS OFF AND SHOVE IT DOWN PYRRHA'S THROAT YOU MOTHERFU-**"

Keeping his smile on, Jaune immediately beelined out of the room and shut the door, right as she threw her Scroll against it.

"**FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-**"

/-/-/-/

A few minutes later, Ruby fell asleep.

Yang stared at her little sister, who mumbled about murdering something in her sleep.

Sighing, Yang tossed her bag next to her bunk. A swift jump let her sink into her bed comfortably. Well, as comfortably as she could with Ruby in the room. Weiss decided to introduce Blake to some fashion shops in Vale that she found "decent" by her standards, and considering Yang was told to haul a bunch of bags filled with clothes the last time she followed them, the blonde decided to ditch them this time.

Ironic, considering Ruby used to offer carrying most of the bags.

"_I need to get stronger!"_ She'd say, beaming at her team with a shy smile. It was the Ruby who always remained wary of being irritable to her team. As she always hated being a detriment to others' efforts, she always sought out to improve herself, no matter how quiet she'd be about it.

So naturally, Yang was infuriated to see Ruby be so unimaginably rude.

_Maybe she always felt this way,_ she told herself. And to be honest? Maybe she wasn't wrong. Maybe Ruby really did resent her teammates to extreme levels. As hilariously ridiculous her behavior seemed, she had been more honest about her complaints regarding her teammates than she normally would be.

Glancing at Ruby, who snored like a tank engine, Yang solemnly looked away to face the ceiling. Before she did, however, her lilac eyes fell on a Scroll laying near the door.

Blinking, she rose from her bed, walking over to pick up the Scroll.

_It's Ruby's._

Yang stared at the Scroll in her hands, one of its corners slightly dented and chipped. As she unconsciously flipped over and analyzed the device a bit, it suddenly turned on its screen.

Startled, Yang quickly put her finger over the power button to put it back to sleep. She froze when she took a good look at the screen, however.

It was Ruby's lock screen. At first, she thought it had been the picture Ruby herself took in a selfie with her team at a café. But upon further observation, she realized it wasn't an old picture.

"…"

Turning to Ruby, Yang stared at her little sister. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't utterly shocked, yet anger did not boil in her veins.

Some people changed more abruptly than others. That was a given in the unpredictable human nature, which has yet to ever be fully comprehended by anyone. While others changed for the better, some changed for the worse, and even in the most questionable of ways.

But even within people who changed the most, there would always be traces that showed no human could truly lose themselves easily.

"…"

Her eyes falling on the Scroll again, Yang remained silent, standing with the device in her hand. Slowly, she walked over and set it next to Ruby, who continued to grumble in her sleep, her face half-buried in her pillow.

"Strrrpid Ynnng. Er'm not a fffcking kid…"

A small smirk found its way to the blonde as she ruffled the redhead's hair.

Turning away, Yang turned on her own Scroll and leapt onto her bed again. No longer did she scowl- well, scowl as much as she did earlier.

Her mood got a little better, she supposed.

/-/-/-/

…

_Ruby grumbled with her arms crossed._

"_Ruby?" Weiss sighed as she shook her head in exasperation. "For the last da-… ahem, time, I only need one picture to send to my sister. Just one!"_

"_Yeah, next we'll send her a selfie of us sucking donkey dick."_

"_Oh, you dolt, for the last damn time, just take the stupid picture!"_

"_Make me, bitch!"_

_Going out to the café with Ruby completely out of her own senses was the worst possible risk they ever took. When Weiss suggested bringing her back to some of the places Ruby fondly enjoyed being at to jolt her back to soberness, Blake and Yang already had their doubts. In fact, the growing suspicion of Weiss possibly going insane had yet to falter for them._

_Not that they were exempt, though. Blake felt like the current White Fang would attempt peaceful diplomacy faster than Ruby Rose. Yang, on the other hand, questioned why she even bothered playing along with Weiss's plans._

"_Hmph! Well, if you so insist on not taking a picture, then so be it," Weiss grumbled as she took out her Scroll. Holding it in front of herself, the Scroll showed the four at the café table. Only Ruby looked away, pouting with a whole list of swear words seeping out of her lips._

_Yang glanced at the redhead, who continued to mumble to herself. Her eyes darting between the drunk girl and Weiss's Scroll, a grin widened on her face. As much of a killjoy Ruby had been recently, Yang refused to let the girl keep her from having her own fun._

"_Alright, Blake, Yang!" Weiss called out as she put on a happy smile for the camera. "On the count of three! One… two…!"_

_Blake gave an extremely awkward smile at the camera at the last second. Yang, on the other hand, was already grinning wildly when she suddenly pulled her sister for a one-armed hug. Her neck wrapped by Yang's arm, Ruby's eyes widened as she suddenly started screaming incoherently._

"_Three!"_

"_GOD DAMMIT-"_

_**Click!**_

/-/-/-/

…

As Ruby's Scroll vibrated, having received a spam message from some random number, the Scroll lit its screen once more.

It contained the utter shock of Weiss's face, a nervous Blake who leaned away from Yang like an alerted cat, and Ruby, who glared at Yang as she flailed her arms wildly. And the blonde grinned at Ruby- her crazy, drunk little sister.


	10. The Subject of Written Erotica And Lewds

**Rude Ruby**

* * *

"Fuck you."

"Ruby, wh-"

"Shut up."

Weiss rolled her eyes and smashed her face into her pillow, letting out a muffled cry of pure rage. It didn't help when she heard Ruby mumble "drama queen" at the corner of her hearing range, which shortly led to Weiss desperately looking for sharp to stab people with.

Ah, Myrtenaster. Perfect-

"Cool it guys," Yang reminded them carelessly, whistling as she flipped through a magazine. "We don't want complaints from the dorms next to us again, right?"

Glaring at Yang with eyes wide enough to strain her face, Weiss growled, "Oh, yeah, you mean the people in those dorms who _moved out because Ruby told __**THEM**__ to shut the hell up?!_"

For a brief moment, Yang stopped staring at the good pecs displayed on her magazine, a thoughtful look crossing her features… before it went back to being as thoughtless as ever. "Whoops, I forgot."

"RGNRHGNRHGNRHGNRHGNHHHHHHHH-"

"You sound like you stuck a Boarbatusk up your ass."

"**AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH**-"

At this point, Blake had come to terms that the harshest points of her school life came neither training, missions, nor even the White Fang. At least the White Fang rested occasionally- ah, but that was exactly what they were doing.

Resting had become one of the most unpredictable activities the team could do, out of all the things that could've taken the title.

Still, it was better than essentially being a terrorist.

"Say, guys?" Yang asked as Weiss tried to strangle Ruby, only to recoil violently when the red-haired girl bit on her fingernail. "I know our missions suddenly got pretty tame, but don't you think our next one's gonna be a little harder?"

"No."

The blonde girl turned to her dark-haired partner, who practically forced herself to not look up from her book. Not that she disliked the idea.

"…Caaaan you elaborate on that, Blake?"

Due to Yang asking something reasonable once in a blue moon, Blake decided to give her a pass and finally tore her gaze from the porn in her hands. "Well," the Faunus explained, ignoring Weiss throwing the team's cupboard at Ruby, who reflected the thing by turning around and thrusting her ass against it.

…At the last part, Blake and Yang briefly turned to the red and white duo as Weiss got flattened against the wall. It didn't take a single second for Weiss to tear the cupboard off herself as she leapt towards Ruby, bloodlust seared into her eyes.

"…Anyway," Blake tried again, as Ruby suddenly took out one of Blake's books and slapped Weiss away, causing the Schnee heiress to crash into the dorm lights, shattering them effortlessly.

Wait-

Her eyes widening in panic, Blake shouted, "Wait, what the hell?! Ruby, that's **my** book!"

The red girl paused, staring at the book in her hands before raising an eyebrow at Blake.

"Blake?" She muttered unenthusiastically, causing the Faunus to shift uncomfortably. "Are you actually criticizing me for weaponizing your porn?"

"…Well, they're still books," Blake pointed out. "And I don't want to hear that from someone who tried to upload porn on our school's network."

Yang blinked as she raised a hand to briefly get their attention. "Just to let you know, she used my credit card to buy all that, so I don't want to hear this from someone who has control over their own money."

If there was anyone who'd steal her own sister's credit card to download massive amounts of porn just to metaphorically fuck with the school, it was the drunken leader of Team RWBY, who happened to start running out of booze that moment. Heck, even now, she started craving for the bitter taste of alcohol burning her mind out.

Ruby's glare intensified as she asked Blake, "Speaking of networks, why the fuck aren't you using the internet for your shit? Wouldn't it be easier to hide it?"

Blake opened her mouth to retort, only to pause for a moment.

_Huh, now that Ruby mentioned it…_

Still, she needed to try saving face. Coughing once, Blake looked away from her team's leader as she answered weakly,

"It… feels less degenerate, I guess? Reading from paper, that is…"

Ruby's raised eyebrow rose even more as she ducked under Weiss' sudden attack, which was followed by the loud sound of her crashing into the wall.

"It's fucking porn, Blake."

"It's not-!"

"**A GUY LITERALLY USES A FISHING ROD AS A DILDO ON SOMEONE, BLAKE, HOW THE FUCK IS IT NOT PORN?!**"

"…"

"…"

As Yang inched away from Blake just a bit, the Faunus grumbled inaudibly, unable to slap the red out of her face.

"…Soooo," Yang began again, "can we talk about that mission this Friday?"

"Fuck you."

At Blake's venomous tone, Yang raised her hands and eyebrows in mock surrender as she picked her magazine up again, ignoring the fact that Ruby finally snapped and tried to perform plastic surgery on Weiss with Crescent Rose for trying to throw her out the window.

* * *

Cinder couldn't believe it.

News of Roman Torchwick willingly turning himself in to the police came rather early the other day. As someone who held a variety of plans in case something went wrong, even she found the idea of Roman _failing_ to be odd. How hard was it to kick a train down a tunnel and making holes in said tunnel with something as simple as bombs?

But no, that was just the icing on the cake.

Her fingers clenched against her Scroll as she grit her teeth. Her eyes, wide and rounder than the shattered moon that watched over Remnant, burned with an intense fury that heated the entire warehouse up. Standing near her was Emerald and Mercury, who tried to remain calm in front of their boss.

She downloaded Beacon's files? Oh, yeah, sure. Perfect. All according to plan. Nothing went wrong, nobody even spotted her, and everything wasn't out to kill her for doing something for once.

_So why the living __**FUCK**__ did __**THIS**__ happen?!_

Cinder should've known that not checking the data being downloaded was almost pathetic, but she did everything she could to not get spotted. Though there weren't many guards in the first place, the fact that they were stationed at the CTT meant she had to do things as fast as possible before any Huntsmen and Huntresses were alerted.

She had been busy, so she didn't have the time to check just what data they had pulled before speaking with Roman and reporting to Salem the other day. It just so happened to cross her mind that she should, just to review some of the participants of the upcoming Vytal Festival…

"…Um, Cinder?" Emerald managed to let out, cowering under her pure fury. "Is there something wrong with the data…?"

She meant well. Cinder knew that.

So she threw the Scroll on the ground and smashed it under her heel.

She smashed it over and over again before backing off, almost threatening to tear the hair off her damn scalp at that moment. As Emerald and Mercury went over to calm her down as quickly as possible, Cinder screamed at the top of her lungs,

"_**I'LL KILL WHOEVER THE FUCK REPLACED THE ENTIRE SCHOOL DATABASE WITH GODDAMN PORN**__** IN IT!**__"_


	11. Ruby: Become Inconsistent

**Rude Ruby**

* * *

_Thunk._

Ruby raised an eyebrow as Weiss slammed her two pale hands against the table she sat at. A newspaper lay before the two of them. Glaring into her very soul, the heiress screeched, reading out the headline,

"**TWENTY-EIGHT STAB WOUNDS.**"

A single sigh left Ruby as she rolled her eyes. Infuriated, Weiss tossed her hands up in the air as she almost tore at her own hair. "You didn't wanna leave him a chance, huh?!"

"Are you fucking high?"

"Did you feel anger? Hate?! He was bleeding, begging you for mercy, but you stabbed him- again, and again and again!"

"Weiss, I think we get paid to kill shit in general."

"I _know_ you killed him. Why don't you say it?"

Taking a drink from a bottle of booze she smuggled yet again, Ruby ignored Weiss, taking out her Scroll. Still pissed off beyond belief, Weiss slammed her hands against the table again. "Just say 'I killed him.' Is it _that_ hard to say?!"

As Weiss picked Ruby up by her collar and started shaking her like a ragdoll, Blake watched in amusement at the heiress' unbridled rage. It was just yesterday when she felt chipper enough to ask them all if they wanted to hang out at a café.

Turns out, running into some White Fang members robbing a bank while doing so wasn't a great way to start off the week, let alone having _Ruby_ among them as it happened.

"Gee, you two should chill out," Yang muttered as she played some kind of console game by the television. She herself didn't play games much, but if Blake remembered one thing, it was that having two people scream loudly as you tried to relax wasn't exactly relaxing.

Then again, her parents combined would pale in comparison to just how loud Weiss' screaming was.

"Ruby, we can do this easy way," Weiss seethed as she cracked her knuckles, "Or the really, REALLY hard way!"

Ruby whistled sarcastically as she headed over out the door, bringing a thermos to keep her company. "Kinky," she commented, "but I don't swing that way, Nice Schlong."

"N-Nice Schl- What the** FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME-**"

* * *

Seeing that Weiss was about to commit a terrorist act on her, Ruby left her dormitory, feeling pretty good about the alcohol in her hands. It was a whiskey imported from the shores of Vacuo, and while Vacuo wasn't really known for great alcohol usually, this one was definitely one of the slices of the "good shit" cake.

Opening her thermos, she was about to drink it when…

"Ruby?"

Her good moment already ruined, she lowered the thermos, finding herself staring at…

"…The fuck are you up to this time, Jaune?"

"That actually hurt my feelings."

Rolling her eyes, she drank from the thermos as she shut it, quickly popping some half-assed mint candy in her mouth. Not that it did anything to hide the insane smell of alcohol reeking around her body, but she pretended it did.

Jaune, on the other hand, seemed preoccupied holding onto a bunch of boxes. The way his shoulders sagged like a loser told her that the bunch of boxes held a bunch of books for a bunch of reasons she didn't want to know about.

"Seriously, though, what the fuck is this about, Jaune?"

"…Oh, this?" He smiled shakily as a corner of his mouth twitched. "Professor Oobleck said he needed help delivering some things to a Bullhead. Aaaand I happened to have nothing to do, so."

"That's a load of shit and even I know that, Jaune."

"…Yeah, actually, I'm just doing this for extra credit."

Still holding onto her thermos, Ruby walked over to Jaune, reaching out a hand. "Well, since you're weak as shit, I'll help."

"Wait, really?"

"Just looking at you is cranking my stress level. Also, you're buying me a cocktail by the end of the week for this."

"I'm pretty sure that's illegal-"

"Everything I'm doing is illegal, Jaune. Shut the fuck up and just give me a box."

"Yes, ma'am."

As Jaune lowered himself a bit, he managed to slide one of the boxes onto Ruby's hand.

What neither of them expected was the box of books to practically slam Ruby down onto the ground due to its weight.

The two of them remained silent, and slowly, but surely, time ticked on. No doubt were they both amazed at how useless Ruby could be without her weapon. It almost felt like a singularity, defying all laws of logic that only applied to her when she wasn't destroying something with Crescent Rose. Maybe understanding the singularity could defeat all the Grimm once and for all when comprehended properly-

"I know what you're thinking," Ruby interrupted Jaune's mental theorycrafting, "and I'm gonna fucking strangle you if you continue."

"Right."

…

…

…

"…Need help?"

"Jaune, I need help in more ways than one."

The blond boy nodded, muttering under his breath, "I'm kinda surprised you knew that."

As Ruby got up, Jaune glanced at the entrance of her dormitory. The familiar screeches of a Snow Angel reverberated from it, muffled only by the walls of the dorm. "What's Weiss mad about this time?" The blond asked, glancing back at Ruby.

"She thinks I killed some White Fang fidget dick in broad daylight."

"Uh. Did you?"

"I don't fucking know. Some animal fucko isn't really relevant to my life."

He figured he should keep quiet about the last part for Blake's- or really, any Faunus' sake- and instead began walking ahead. From his perspective, Ruby was generally the same Ruby he knew from when he first met her, so he didn't feel too bothered about her "unique" behavior. Maybe it was just him not meeting her enough, but the fact that she still helped him made him feel better.

"Hey Jaune," he heard her drawl from behind as she almost dragged her box of books, "I got a 100-sided dice just to guess when you're gonna get laid. I'm betting 80 or more."

Of course, being helpful was an entirely different matter from being likable.


	12. Young Teen Mindfucks Hot Terrorist Stud

**Rude Ruby**

* * *

"I'm going to a sex club."

Yang dropped absolutely everything in her hands, horror etched in her face. And by everything, in Yang's case, it was the snacks she had managed to hide from all three of her teammates- up until that moment.

It had been a normal day, for once. Weiss was working on her homework, Blake read her a non-erotic book for once, and Yang had been lazing about pretty happily. Even Ruby caused no trouble, opting to distract herself with… well, drinking on the bed doing nothing.

"W-Wh-" Yang choked, almost suffocating herself by not breathing, "W-What?"

Fully dressed in her Huntress clothing, Ruby cracked her neck as she leapt off her bunk. "I'm not repeating myself," Ruby growled, before breaking her own promise as she repeated, "I'm going to a sex club."

It was a daunting moment for the team. Those six words were the last things they'd expected to hear, even from their drunken, insane, fucked up leader. Even "I'm leaving this fucking team" would've made more sense than what she just said. Blake gaped in absolute confusion, with Weiss almost getting a heart attack.

Of course, Weiss was also the first to respond properly.

"What on Remnant's shattered moon stones, Ruby- WHY?!"

"Fuck off, I'm heading out."

"Miss Rose? You will explain to us just what you mean by something so… so… illegal. So drastic. So absolutely, confoundedly, mindnumbingly _stupid_. Are you capable of even thinking properly?!"

Much to the Schnee's rage, however, Ruby just walked out the dorm, with Crescent Rose and bottle by her hips, as she slammed the door shut. "Ruby, you WILL explain yourself!" Weiss roared as she slammed the door back open, only to find the girl had vanished. "Ruby? RUBY!"

…

…

…

"**IS SHE **_**TRYING**_** TO GET OUR TEAM FUCKED?!**"

Blake glanced at Weiss as she noted, "Well, maybe not all of us."

The cat Faunus almost screamed in horror when a blast of Fire Dust whizzed right past her face. Slowly creaking her head, she found Yang's blazing red eyes glaring into her very soul.

"**Blake.**"

"Y-Yeah?"

Standing up, Yang immediately started dressing out of her pajamas as she put on her Huntress outfit. "Find out any clubs that match what Ruby just said. We're following her."

"…You want me to look up sex clubs under Beacon's internet?"

"Use your freakin' DATA, Blake! For the love of all that isn't fucking cursed!"

"Oh. Right."

* * *

Ruby grumpily leapt off the Bullhead, running down the streets of Vale. Knowing her teammates, they'd do everything in their power to stop her from running out on her own, all in the name of "preventing the team from being expelled in the blink of an eye." She really couldn't give a shit about any of that.

No, she wasn't going to a sex club. There wasn't a fucking public sex club in the main city of Vale. If she really wanted to go to one, that'd be way too far for her own laziness to handle. Knowing her teammates, they'd all try going to every single club, both obscure and popular. She wouldn't want to announce herself losing her fucking V-card if she actually did want to, anyway.

She flicked her Scroll back on as she ran, glaring at the message she received earlier.

* * *

_5 PM, 100 drops of life will leave._

_In the maws of iron, they will be free._

_No more running away._

_\- AT_

* * *

She almost felt the edge make her sober for a second.

Ruby then glanced at the clock on the Scroll she held. _4:21 PM,_ she noted, her eyes darting through all the street signs as she dashed through small crowds of people.

She had a feeling she knew what it was. The hundred drops probably meant fucking alcohol. The maws of iron, thing? Most likely the industrial district slightly away from the main city. And if she combined that fact with "free…"

"Someone's selling free alcohol."

Genius.

Tearing through the air, Ruby moved down the streets like a rocket, her cloak fluttering and leaving behind petals of roses.

Unfortunately, the people close to the petals coughed violently at the scent of alcohol from them.

As she reached the industrial district, her eyes darted to every building in her way. From warehouses to factories, from abandoned warehouses to abandoned factories.

Soon, she reached a particular warehouse that looked extremely worn down. Yet, something dimly lit it.

Running forward, Ruby burst through a small door next to the warehouse. "Alright, bitch, I found you so that beer better be-"

…

"…The fuck?"

Much to her dismay, there were no bottles of free alcohol in her way. Instead, a hundred people, bundled together and tied up, stared at her in fear. Each and every one of them had tape masking their mouths, as they all began to let out muffled noises that pissed Ruby off.

"What the actual shit?" Ruby glared at the people, marching over to them. "Where the fuck is the good stuff?"

"I'd like to ask you the same question."

At the presence of an unfamiliar voice, Ruby's instincts suddenly screamed at her. She felt it- in the very close future, a blade would reach for her neck, cutting it off cleanly.

Preventing that future from being fulfilled, Ruby quickly ducked and whipped out Crescent Rose off her back, aiming it behind her and firing it. Blasting herself away in the process, she turned to face an unknown aggressor as she landed.

A man with short red hair wore a decorative White Fang mask, his black clothes adding onto his edginess. He sheathed his red sword as he snorted, facing her with brimming confidence.

"I'm certain I wanted Blake Belladonna," the man said as he slowly approached Ruby. "But of course, she ran away again."

"She's a fucking coward, yeah."

Flinching at Ruby's random remark about her teammate, the man continued to approach her. "Your name," he growled. "Give it."

"Fuck You McShittens," she answered, transforming Crescent Rose into its scythe form. "Also known as Ruby Rose. Where the fuck is my beer?"

"…I don't care for what you want," the man growled. "Have you heard of the name, 'Adam Taurus?' This name of the White Fang will be the last you may-"

"Why the fuck should I care about the name of some dumbass motherfucker when you're talking like a porn actor?"

"I'm asking you, and I'll ask one last time," Adam seethed. "Where. Is. Blake?"

"At school."

"…Why?"

"I dunno. I stole her Scroll late at night because you said there'd be free beer."

"…"

…

…

…

"…What?"

Ruby sighed, almost infuriated by Adam's confusion as she growled, "The beer, asshat. The _beer._ Where the fuck is the hundred bottles of beer?"

Adam's eyebrows scrunched up as he straightened himself, pretty pissed off at Ruby's response. "Look, you little midget, I wanted Blake here because she stole some valuable documents from me."

"What, she took your porn or some shit?"

At her words, he froze, the eyes behind his mask widening. As he went slack-jawed, Ruby blinked, watching his reaction before paling.

"…Seriously?"

All of a sudden, Adam roared as he slashed his blade, sending out a wave of raw energy at Ruby. Rather than dodging it, she cut through the projectile, remaining in front of the useless people.

"She took my fucking porn," Adam seethed. "It was the only reason I managed to last this long, you know. That's right, it's like she took my fucking _kids_. All of my stress relief- **GONE**, because of some bitch who wouldn't chill the fuck out and let me do my thing!"

"By the name of Ozpin crucified on Glynda's dildo," Ruby whispered. "I'm sorry my teammate is such a cunt to you."

Holding onto his blade, Adam almost screamed in sorrow, "They're everything I had, goddammit! Do you know how fucking hot that shit was? All the doggystyles, just fucking **GONE**. They were limited, some even exclusive! You can't buy that shit anywhere else. When Blake left me, I at least respected her for leaving the stash alone, but noooooooo, she had to come and fucking TAKE WHAT WAS LEFT OF MY ONCE INNOCENT SOUL!"

Almost sympathetic for Adam suffering from his dumbass teammate's actions, Ruby approached Adam and pat his back, letting him sob. "I'm sorry to hear that, man," she sighed. "Like, you're a pussy ass bitch, but that must suck. But hey, at least you didn't keep your porn in a warehouse or something."

"…"

Adam turned to Ruby, who completely ignored the extremely confused hostages. "Wait, which warehouse was this?" He asked.

"Oh, the one in the direction of Tukson's. Found a huge porn stash and sold it off on Ebay. Got like a million Lien."

"…"

"…"

Bothered by his lack of words, Ruby turned to face Adam's completely hollow gaze.

"The fuck you looking at, punk?"

* * *

The next day, news of Adam Taurus turning himself in hit the fan.

Media outlets jumped on the almost paranormal event, for Adam, one filled with the pride of a visionary genius of terror, just gave up. It was a nightmare for Faunus who looked up to the White Fang, though they remained in general silence with a few exceptions. While most people praised the fact that Adam had turned himself in, everyone seemed confused.

Another thing that blew up all over the media was the footage that someone had managed to record of Adam. Shot from one of the hostages who managed to slip out a phone with no reception, the video showed Adam screaming about how he wanted to slap something "doggy style" and proceeded to start slapping himself in the face. Criminal psychologists stated that he showed symptoms of hysteria, making him far more dangerous than the average psychopath.

All the above that had been mentioned mattered absolutely nothing to Ruby Rose. In fact, as she drank from her whiskey by her dormitory bunk, she had to do her best not to get pissed off at how pathetic Blake looked.

A face of pure confusion, anger, and self-deprecating sadness- there were many ways to describe her expression, but one thing was for certain. Blake didn't understand why she spent so many years trying to make a point to the White Fang about their methods when some drunken idiot marched up to him and demanded for booze.

But more importantly…

Touching her feline ears gently, Blake's pout trembled as she grumbled, "I-I can't believe he… was a dog person…"

As the betrayed and almost broken Blake curled up in a fetal position on her bunk, Yang raised an eyebrow at her half-sister from her own bunk.

Ruby Rose, leader of team RWBY, remained absolutely pissed about her dwindling booze supply. After all, she ended up not even getting a chance to smuggle some due to the police questioning her about her involvement in the incident.

"Ruby," Yang told her. "Good job on, uh… catching Adam."

"Fuck off, Yang."

"**RUBY!**" Weiss screeched from the bathroom. Ruby clenched her teeth as she let out a groan of frustration as she roared,

"The fuck you want?!"

"WHY ON ALL THINGS RELATED TO HELL DID YOU REPLACE MY SHAMPOO WITH ALCOHOL?!"

The red-haired leader of RWBY rolled her eyes as she drank from her whiskey again.

…

Pausing for a moment, Ruby pulled herself away from the bottle as she gave it a second look.

It read, _Pantene Hair Renewal Conditioner._

As soon as her eyes fell on the first word, she bolted for the bathroom, throwing up in the toilet. Meanwhile, the naked Weiss screamed as the sound of her kicking Ruby reverberated through the dormitory. Blake continued to convince herself that she was better than mere dogs, and Yang legitimately considered visiting her home at Patch to refresh herself.

Almost everyone forgot Adam got himself arrested for no reason.


End file.
